This morning I woke up to find my house mate gone. No note, no goodbyes, just up and left without taking anything with him. I went searching everywhere I could to find him, above the door, under the table, I thought maybe he’d just started living somewhere else on my verandah. Unfortunately, I think he is gone.
My house mate I speak of is a spider. I’m assuming it is a male, as there have been no baby spiders and he has lived in the same spot on my verandah for some time now. In a way, I’m glad he departed like this, just leaving. I hate goodbyes. The build up of emotions, words and memories. All to the moment that last for three words or less… “See you later” or “Good bye”. As humans we develop these attachments to everything. Memories and feelings stored in every place or person. We say “see you later” in the hopes of avoiding the truth of the matter… it’s really good bye, as the probability of seeing each other again or returning to a particular place in time are highly unlikely or impossible – as time moves on, so the moment can never be relived again. If you believe in life after death, then it is just a matter of see you later. But you could still be waiting a while to see each other again.
Animals on the other hand have no attachment to such things. There is a cycle of life they live out. This applies to humans too, except that we have complicated the process. Animals are born, they live, they create new life, they eat, sleep, interact with other animals of their species, and die. Humans hold on to moments, places and people from familiarity and fear. We cling to these moments as it is easier than finding the courage to let go and move on.
So I’m doing something to help me move on from the loss of my spider friend. I’m taking down his web. There is no point in it staying where it is and blocking my doorway any more. It was good while it lasted spider and I wish you well where ever you are.
“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.”