I am at a crossroads. Stuck somewhere between what I should do and what I want to do. At a point where my head nags me to do what is right. Right by everyone else, the sensible path my life should take. But my heart roars in the background. STOP! Don’t do it! This will destroy you!!
Not that the heart can actually speak. But you know what I mean. That overwhelming feeling that clutches at the heart and makes your whole body feel ill. It doesn’t matter how illogical, or how seemingly crazy the idea, thought, want is, you just know that it is ultimately the something you have to do for yourself. Well, I’m plagued by that feeling now. It haunts me. Because I know what it means, but I’m not sure I can go through with it. Can I really throw away everything my head tells me is the right, smart, safe path to take? Am I just being scared? If I follow my heart will it be a huge mistake?
Making a mistake isn’t something that scares me. I’ve made lots of mistakes, I don’t regret them at all. For some reason though, the thought of leaping into the unknown is terrifying. And so it should be. If change wasn’t scary, we would never challenge ourselves or take risks. Sometimes it’s the adrenalin rush derived from following the heart that makes us remember that we are alive and that you only get one shot at it.
Do I know which path I will take? Not yet. To listen to my rational, thought out head or to throw everything away to follow my heart. It’s a big call. I know what I should do. Whether I do it… well, that’s something only I can decide on.